There were songs we were all up on our feet and others when we just sat and listened. In the middle of one of the quieter songs I looked down the row we were sitting in and saw a woman standing with her head lifted, eyes closed and arms outstretched. I remember thinking that what she was doing was the very picture of what an authentic worshiper should look like. Solely focused, unaffected by the opinions of the others around her.

This all sounds like a great example of worship… right?  Well, we were not at a worship concert. In fact we weren’t even at a christian concert. It was just a creative rock concert with some amazing musicians.  How could it have been worship? Worship of what?

So how does a person become so affected by something that they almost involuntarily stand, close their eyes, and raise their arms? In a church setting we would call it worship… but in a secular setting we would just call it an emotional response or a feeling.

Here is the point. The picture that each of us have for worship is usually the measure we use to determine if leading worship was effective. If we believe that someone standing, closing their eyes, and raising their hands is the picture of what authentic and real worship is, then we evaluate based on that.

My experience at the concert changed my perspective of what worship looks like. For me, it challenged my assumptions about what I saw in the congregation Sunday morning. It helped me realize that sometimes the responses we see in people are real and authentic, but other times people are moved by the emotions the music creates in them. One is worship and one is just a feeling.

Our job as leaders should be to create environments of authenticity and worship so that people can experience God in a real way. It can be easy to build services and gatherings around the intended emotional impact.  When we do this we are building something that strives to fulfill the picture of worship we have. Challenge yourself this week to change the picture of worship you have had. Challenge yourself to see past the creative package and desired response and realize that God wants you to trust him with how people respond.

Worship teams are great at playing this game in real life.  Some people call it telephone.  Others call it church gossip or triangulation.  Getting  info or sharing info with everyone but the people involved is never a helpful activity in a creative ministry. The ironic part, is that it usually happens with out people even realizing it.

Let me give you a scenario… You’re at worship rehearsal and time comes to share prayer requests. Then someone says “have you heard what’s going on with Tom? (fictitious bass player)”. Everyone leans forward to hear the details. “I heard from my friend Sandy who talked to one of Tom’s co-workers and they said that Tom got called into the CEO’s office for a closed door meeting…. We really need to pray for him! That usually only happens when someone is in a lot of trouble. Also we need to keep this confidential. Tom doesn’t know we know anything…”  Immediately, everyone is concerned and prays for Tom.

At first pass that sounds ok. Here is a band member, that everyone cares about, who might be in some trouble. People are concerned and it seems logical to share whatever information is available so we can pray accurately…. right?   Not always… The reason this can be so unhealthy is because the information rarely stops being shared when it is supposed to. Confidential doesn’t really mean much in a church or in a ministry setting. In the same way concerns are shared in one setting, they will be shared in outside settings as a prayer request, as a concern and as something that needs to be kept quiet. There is also the tendency for the information to change each time it is shared. Before we know what has happened, the entire team is under the impression that Tom is going to be fired for having done something really bad. How can a team undo all of the (well intentioned) misinformation that was spread about Tom? What happens when Tom finds out everyone mistakenly thought he was doing something bad? What happens when everyone finds out Tom actually got a great promotion and that nothing was wrong at all?

This kind of stuff happens in worship teams periodically. It is just part of working with people… So how do you stop things before they get out of hand? Simple…. DISCONNECT THE TELEPHONE!

Remind your team that information that does not build up the team will only break it down. Encourage people to personally share what they are going through  instead of passing the info through others. Reinforce the go-to principle which tells people to go to the person you’ve heard is struggling to find out if they are ok, instead of just passing the info on. Lastly, remind people that unless they are not part of the problem or part of the solution, they have no reason to share information about someone else.

Our worship team was really growing.  Lots of people getting involved, seeing God working in hearts.  It was really exciting.  I came to the realization that we had too many people participating within one team.  It was getting very inefficient and limiting for growth.  So I made a decision to expand the teams so that there was room for growth as well as room for leaders to be placed in key roles to support all the new volunteers.  Everything seemed to make sense.

The day came to share the changes with the worship team.  Before rehearsal started, I explained that I would be making some changes to allow some new people to participate, and that there would be some new leaders that would take on roles to help out.  Everyone was very excited and there was good discussion.  Suddenly, one of the team members stands up, looks around and asks ” Does anyone else have a problem with what Jason is doing?”.  This team member was a very tall and rather intimidating  individual.  This brought the positive discussion to an abrupt halt.  Everyone started looking around  non verbally asking the question “What just happened?”.  One at time, the other team members voiced their support for the changes and eventually the individual who had the issue sat down, visibly frustrated that others had not supported him.

There was such an awkwardness in the room.  I had no idea what do.  I was pretty new in ministry and I didn’t know this individual very well.  The entire team was looking at me to do something to resolve the situation and I was looking for the door.

I made the decision to ask the individual who had caused the disruption to step into the other room.  It would put the meeting on hold, but I felt that the incident required immediate action.  So we went into the other room and sat down.  I took a few minutes to hear his concerns, I acknowledged his frustration and apologized if I had been insensitive to his perspective.  Then I firmly stated that my decision had been made and that it was his choice to cheerfully support it or he could walk out the door.

What happened next is what really amazed me.  I expected a strong reaction from this person, but surprisingly received one of genuine support.  In the end, I realized that this individual really only wanted me to hear him. He didn’t care about getting his way.  He just wanted to know that I valued him and his participation.

This forever changed my perspective about conflict.  Even though dealing with conflict is never fun, it can grow everyone involved in ways that are really beneficial.

Next time you have to deal with some conflict, try going into it with a little different perspective.  The outcome may be just what you need to grow.

The reason I laughed is because I realized how influenced I am by what the trendy churches are doing.  Don’t get me wrong.  There is nothing wrong with trying new things so that we can stay fresh and engage the culture. But sometimes we see the success of another ministry and assume that what worked there will work for me.

I have had some royal disasters by adopting the what worked well for another church without evaluating the culture of the church I was serving in.  For example, doing a rockin’ version of “How Great Thou Art” in a ultra conservative church; really missed the mark on that one.

My point is this:

We  have all seen something great that someone else is doing and thought “I can do that”.  So….we run out, figure out how they did it and put it into the mix the next chance we get.  It might work out or it might not. I have made the mistake of acting without asking.  Acting on what I thought was cool, before asking why something worked.  Everything that churches do is relative, which means it might work somewhere else or it might kind of work or it might fall apart completely.  Next time you see some other worship pastor who has some incredible concept you want to start utilizing, take a minute to ask the question “am I doing this so we have a cooler church or am I doing this because it will help us experience God?”